i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
