u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
