i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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