Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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