Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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