butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
