Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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