no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
