NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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