What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I am one with the molecules
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
