My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
