Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
