tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
