I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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