never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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