Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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