i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
