so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
