She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So vagazzling was a success
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
