i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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