all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Be still, my beating vagina.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
