At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
