He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
