She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
