I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
