she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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