Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
