i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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