Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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