yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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