I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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