Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
