At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I want a musical about memes.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
