Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
