I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
handjob tips. give me some.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
