yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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