I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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