Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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