you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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