Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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