hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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