Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Of course I have a pirate flag
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
