you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
