Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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