Sry I called you an 8
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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