Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
