I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
