You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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