if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
