I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
