Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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