Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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