ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
