Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
