You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
